For my birthday, I got to introduce friends from high school, college, grad school and work to each other in a mind-bending virtual birthday party. In October I learned to make pretzels via Zoom. But as much as the coronavirus pandemic has shrunk our worlds, the internet has also offered us the opportunity to expand them. "In person" anything feels like a distant dream right now. Post-video, an English translator guides those watching through what's now the ninja museum, including an area with interactive exhibits like a short climbing wall and a fake pond offering lily pads ninjas could presumably hop on if they were there in person. All these centuries later, this is where the livestream of the class is coming from. That castle (or, at least the version rebuilt in 1703 after an earthquake) is now a tourist destination, housing both a ninja and a samurai museum. Particularly in 1590, when shogun Toyotomi Hideyoshi (who spent 1585-92 unifying Japan) declared war against the Hojo clan and surrounded the castle with about 160,000 soldiers, the Fuma ninjas dealt in espionage and sabotage. The Fuma ninja clan worked for the Hojo family. The course, put on by Japan's Odawara Tourism Association, starts off with a beautiful animation sequence explaining the Hojo clan of Odawara, who ruled for about five generations during the Warring States period (1467 to 1615). As the world races toward apocalyptic anarchy, they might come in handy. seems like the perfect time to start learning, and maybe even to walk away with some actual ninja skills. Ninjas game folks played on Facebook a decade ago, was going to teach me to sort out where truth and myth about these ancient, skilled covert fighters converge. And surely no amount of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or the Pirates vs. Thanks to a typical Eurocentric education, I don't know tons about feudal Japan. Yet here I am, watching a livestream of the Online Ninja Training Experience, a 40-minute class promising "the secrets of the ninja world." I'm hoping it'll teach me some stuff I didn't know about ninjas, and even a few crucial ninja skills. Wondering how long it'll be before I can get the prescription on my glasses updated. Sitting on my bed under a pile of blankets. I've never felt less like a ninja in my life.
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